Hi and welcome to "A Cup of OJ"! This blog is so all of the friends and family of OJ Alexander and keep up to date through his fight against lung cancer. Thank you for stopping by and showing your support for him!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

RIP Daddy

As most of you know by now, our sweet warrior joined God's kingdom on June 1st at 5:40pm. He fought so hard through his whole battle and all with a smile. We are so comforted in the fact that he is now out of pain and doing everything he loves in Heaven, including watching over his many loved ones.

Dad had an incredible life, he did and accomplished more than many people could ever dream. Even though his life was "cut short", he did so much LIVING in that life that I know with all my heart he left earth fulfilled and with no regrets.

Dad declined very quickly the last week, both physically and mentally. With all the politics of hospice and insurance, he wasn't able to go to a hospice facility until the day he passed. I got to ride with Dad in the transport van to The Dobson House (his hospice facility) and although he couldn't verbally say it, I know he wanted to say "who the hell is driving this thing"...because they really sucked! The Dobson House was a beautiful facility, Dad had his own private room, bathroom, patio, and direct TV. When Dad got settled, everyone let me have some alone time with him. I grabbed his hand and told him it was me and he smiled the biggest smile and started squeezing my hand like he always used to do. The second time he smiled was when I told him Kristen made it safely to North Carolina and was going to go see Nan. He loved Kristen and I more than anything in the world and it was apparent even in his last few hours. I made the decision after that conversation that I didn't want to be there when he passed. It was the hardest decision I ever made, but I wanted those two smiles to be what I remembered from that day and I know he would have a harder time passing if I was there. He was always protecting Kristen and I. He died peacefully a few hours later with Uncle John, Mom, and Cindy around him.

When we started this journey almost a year and a half ago and decided to do the blog, we wanted to be as real as possible with no sugar coating. We wanted to give those who chose to read the blog a big glimpse of what it was like to go through cancer, hoping it would educate and touch people in whatever way they needed it to. I remember a month or so after we started the blog, we were at Dr. Siever's office and Dad was telling him about the blog. He said, with that big OJ smile, "Hey, the blog has 600 views! Popularrrrrrrr!" Looking at it today and seeing almost 16,000 views, it is obvious just how many people loved him.

We have decided to not do a funeral, but a celebration of life. We are going to wait until July when Kristen can come back from her TFA training and give people time to book flights if they so choose. We don't have an exact date but as soon as we know I will post another update. There are so many people to thank for various things but there are a few in particular:

Kristen: My other half. You were so special to Dad, words can never describe that. He always lit up when he saw you and got to talk to you. Watching you grow into the beautiful woman you are today kept him strong and proud and I know that he is with you every moment of this new journey you are on. I know leaving was the hardest thing in the world for you but Dad (and all of us) are so proud of you for following your dreams and not let anything hold you back. Love you sissy.


*Side note to all of the readers out there. Kristen and I had an AWESOME road trip across the country. It was filled with laughter, singing, food, and a lot of driving. When we got to New Orleans we decided to get tattoos for Dad since we have breast cancer ribbons for Mom. Well when we sent our family the picture everyone freaked out momentarily, except Dad (might of been the oxy though :) ).












Mom: My mom has been such a rock for all of us, including Dad. Having been through this twice herself, she knew a lot of the terminology and what we needed to do. Mom and Dad have been divorced for many years now but managed to keep a solid friendship, which confused many people including the doctors. Mom and Dad collectively taught me and many others that love is not always something you can define and comes in many different forms and for that I am incredibly grateful. Thank you Mom for standing by Dad through it all until his last breath.

Uncle John: You have truly shown us what the word family means. I can't tell you how great it was for Dad, and all of us, to have you here on a weekly basis. Even if it was 4 days of watching TV, it was always the best part of Dad's week to be able to spend time with you. Thanks for always being there for us, we love you.

Cindy: I cannot express my gratitude for the selfless act of love you showed Dad. Thank you for caring for him even in his weakest moments and taking the time off work to do so. I know Dad was so blessed to have you there doing whatever needed to be done, these last few months especially.

Cunningham: My Dad's favorite golf partner and best friend. Dad cherished his time with you with every bone in his body. Being able to fly, golf, and just spend time with you was his favorite. I have never met a more genuine man and I thank you for being such a great friend. Listen for him on the golf course because you KNOW he will be correcting your swing from up there!

Kevin McShea: It is so rare to find great friends, especially ones that stick with you since high school. I have never seen tears roll down Dad's face from laughter as much as I did when you two were together. I know he loved the time he got to spend with you, especially driving with the music on high.

There is a million and one more people I could give shout out's to, but just know we are so grateful for all of you that touched Dad's life in one way or another. He was truly one of a kind and we will all miss him so much, but he is always in our hearts.

OJ Alexander 4/21/1954-6/1/2013 <3<3<3


8 comments:

Lynda said...

So Beautifully written! Your love for your father will carry you through all this with our Heavenly Father watching down on you as he carries you and your sister!!! You have such a gift writting, don't stop, it is so healing!
My prayers, thoughts & love are reaching out to you right now! May our sweet JESUS continue to heal your hurts at this time!

Love you & God Bless!

Lynda Beal

Anonymous said...

Oh Layne, what an amazing man, your father. He just had a thing you can't describe an indefinable glow and kindness that you and kristen have inherited. We think about you and Oj constantly with smiles on our faces. His love shows through you two. We hope you feel the love we have for you. Rox and Blake

Phyllis DeRubeis said...

Dear Layne,
You have written a beautiful tribute to you father! I was so deeply saddened to hear of your dad's passing. I remember O.J. as such a kind and friendly man. He had such charisma. A couple years back, I ran into him at the airport (my family & I were headed out for a trip). He came up to me and gave me a big hug. I will never forget that.
My deepest sympathies go to you and your whole family. You are much too young to have gone through this. Take care and know you are in our thoughts and prayers.
~Phyllis DeRubeis & Family

Kristin Braley said...

Such a beautifully written blog Laynie. Words cannot express how strong your family has been through this entire process the past year and a half. OJ was so blessed to have an incredible support system and so many loved ones. He is watching down and playing gold happily in Heaven with God! I love you so much. Thank you for this blog <3

Anonymous said...

Thank you Lanye for keeping us all updated on your Dad. This "live-link" to your father was such a beautiful gift to him and all of us. I am so sorry for your loss. I will remember your Dad's great smile and know he is flying on angel's wings. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family always. Godspeed OJ!
Love, Melissa McNutt

Anonymous said...

OJ. I often wondered what happened to him after he moved away from Smithtown. I knew your dad from HS, met him through a friend, Jimmy Davey. He came over my house often and we became good friends. One of the nicest people I have ever met, I never forgot his humor, the laughter we shared and that beautiful smile. Such beautiful daughters, warm and loving, I'm sure he will be missed by many people but it looks as though he left his mark on many who won't forget him. God Bless you. Lee Buxton Brooks

Nancy Beets said...

To Layne and Kristen...
Thank you for allowing us to be apart of this journey with you. We have been kept abreast of the play by play, and for that I am Thankful.
You've both been an example of how important it is, to laugh off the pain and the hurt...Happy, Healthy, Humor
Your fathers spirit was in your care and that's why his Smile was Always soo Big and Bright...he was Happy!
But most of all he was Loved, by so many.
You have been Incredible support for Both of your parents and help get them through, the Darkest of times. Just know that we recognize too, just how Brightly your Love Light Shines.
May God Bless you and those you Love,
Nancy Beets


Unknown said...

Dear Layne, It is obvious from the words written in your daily blogs, that his deeds influenced many lives far beyond his circle of friends and family - truly, the measure of any great man. I am saddened by your loss, but I trust that Earth's loss is Heaven's gain, and I know that you will do your best to ensure that his spirit lives on in you. We can all aspire to live as full a life as your father did, and I hope that my work, which sometimes seems so mundane, can better people's lives as your father's has! He was a good friend, mentor of mine and aviator. God bless!!

Capt. Mike Burger